Should you structure your family around your career or your career around starting a family? It seems like today with most Career oriented men & women they sacrifice having a family. Many women have resorted to different alternative methods such as sperm bank or a surrogate not having time to build that relationship w/ a man to create a child. What do you think?
My take on it. I know that when I was in Highscool and planning out my life and yearly goals I used to say that I wouldn't have kids until I am about 30 because according to how "I" want my life to be it wouldn't work any other way. Well as we all know life doesn't adjust for YOU, YOU have too adjust to it. So since I am in College now I can say that my life so far hasn't quite went according to the plans that I had and my perspective is a lot different.
Yes, I still don't want to have children until I am well established and married. However, I'm not sure if I want to sacrifice having a family to fit into my career. I'm 21 now and instead of 30 I say around 24 or 25 I should have my first child. I say that because marriage is looking a lot closer (I think). I don't want to wait until I'm 28 or 30 to bring life into the world, but can I really say that?
You know its like. Lets say that after graduation the job search doesn't work well for me (I highly doubt, but you never know)and I have to make ends meet so I end up getting a job not in my career field. Sales at Macys or retail somewhere...ok.
So now I'm looking at making about $7.50-$9 an hour while my BF is already making $10. Lets calculate that... If I make $7.50x8x5=$300 a week. So take out taxes and that is about $450-$500 every 2 weeks.
Not bad I'll make between $850-1000 a month (minus taxes).
Now if we do the math for my bf (don't feel like calculating) he would make a bout $400 a wk. $100 more. Take out taxes he would bring home between $1000-1200.
Together we would make in 1 month at max=$2,200.
Hmmm now lets calculate that in a year. WOW that is just almost $30, 000 (sense the sarcasm). Two people making aproximately $26, 400 together.
Now don't get me wrong I come from the struggle so I know families that can and will make this work. Hell my mother is a living testimony to that. But for me that is definitely not going to work!! In no way shape or form is that acceptable based on the goals and aspirations that I have for myself and for my family.
Paying Rent, light, cell phone bills, buying food, car notes and insurance is already going to take up most of that $26, 400 now add formula, diapers, bibs, cribs, walkers,clothes, shoes, medicine if the baby is sick and oh lets not forget the days you might have to miss work when your child is sick.
So that'll probably knock that $26, 400 down to about $25, 000. Then the hubby will probably have to pick up OT. Which will most likely drive a wedge between the two of us. I already can't stand our distance now!
You see, for me, there is a lot that I have to take into consideration if I want to have a family. And that is where the problem comes in because I have to have the Career of my choice. Being a Pr manager or specialist I will make no less that $28 dollars an hour almost 3 times what I would make at minimum wage. So say I get that perfect career that I want, can I risk that with Child birth? I mean can I really afford that maternity leave?
Honestly, I believe that after I have established myself in my company it would not be a problem and PR is pretty flexible so hopefully I would be able to work from home if needed. That may not be the case for everyone. All I know is that Me and my Husband will HAVE to ABSOLUTLY be doijng extremely well in the next 5 years for me to even consider bringing a child into this world. I would have to know that if either one of us were to lose our jobs that the other could pick up and that we would be ok. So I guess I say that to say...I really don't know.
Maybe I should go back to plans of having a child at 30 or pray to the Lord that I can be in the position that I want, and if I am to marry my love who I am with now he will be blessed with a different job or a raise.lol
What do you think?
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