Monday, March 21, 2011

One year Natural!

I've been avoiding talking about this topic until I was fully comfortable with how I felt about myself. So I've been natural for almost a year now, I think May 19th 0r 23rd is my BC date. I can't really remember because I BC'd twice o_O.

I stood in the mirror one day and straight buzz cut. I mean Britney Spears'd it! Yes I did and I did it twice!

At the time, I can't really say what was on my mind. I had been going back and forth about cutting my hair off for a while. I always joked about it with my friends and they would tell me I should do it because it would look really nice on me. There was some medical reasoning involved that I will not discuss.

At the time I didn't know how people would react to it. So the whole summer of 2010 I still wore weave, extensions and Wigs. I must say I'm a pro at styling my wigs to look like extensions so It wouldn't draw attention to me.

This is one of them.

I wasn't comfortable going from having hair to being bald, especially around other people. I must admit for the first time I actually cared about what other people thought. So I hid my hair up until the day before coming back to school for my Junior year.

Now this is the straw that broke the camels back and I wish I could upload a pic to describe this situation. Ok, so the day before I was to return to school I had added extensions to my hair. I wanted really long pretty Honey Brown weave. So I got it, tried my 1st invisible part and it turned out pretty well. As I was doing my hair my ex was blowing my phone up as he always did (insecure). So we had gotten into an argument and I had him on speaker as I was cuting and styling the bang and...chop! It was like I was in a trance, I just started chopping the extensions out. At the moment it was like the whole situation wasn't me; arguing with him, the long heavy ass weave, the moment. None of it was me. As I was chopping I started to think about the time when me and him went on a date and I wore my natural hair and the first thing he said to me was "Where your weave at?". So that was pretty much the fuel behind the fire. Me standing in the mirror that day and cutting my extentions (about $80) out my head was the liberation that I needed to be comfortable wearing my TWA.

Fast forward to today.

I have never felt so beautiful in my life!!! I love wearing my natural curly lil afro and putting flowers and lil clips in my hair. I feel like when I approach someone they are getting me, flawed, naked the real me and I love it. Yea I have secrets, but when I rock my actual natural I feel like I'm not hiding. I absolutely love it! And I'm glad to see so many more women do the natural thang. It's very beautiful and I wish I would have knew earlier in my life how I would feel now. So liberating and free!

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