Monday, April 4, 2011

Why I'm "Bougie" or so you say


So many people over these last few years have judged me. Many people think that I'm "bougie" and stuck up and probably even judgemental. People express that my standards are too high, and some goals even unrealistic! Now lemme tell you why I don't care and why I'm not going to change!

"Bougie" a term in African-American vernacular English that means snobby. It comes from the adjective "bourgeois," which means middle class or upper-middle class, and connotes excessive materialism and lack of soul.

Growing up in the projects I've had my fair share of struggle and hardships; an absent father, a drug addicted mother and grandmother who were in and out of prison,lived in poverty, been abused emotionally, physically, and mentally. Lived in a "trap" house, had my lil sister put in the system, had my guardian; my heart, my great grandmother taken away from me because of heart failure. Had the responsibility of taking care of a 60 year old dementia and alzheimer stricken grandmother...I honestly can go on and on and on about what I have been through.

Fast forward to today, me a young woman who has struggle to make it; Born a "crack baby" 2 pounds in the hospital for 2 months I struggled to LIVE! I've known struggle all of my life. At one point I rebelled against myself and my past. I started ripping and running the streets, getting terrible grades in school, being suspended and on the verge of expulsion. All because at the time I didn't understand or know why I was going through what I had been going through.

However, I turned that all around. I got involved with some people who showed me that it wasn't just my life being affected my drug stricken parents, or poverty. People that showed me that there are many out there like me. People who said "now what are you going to do about it". And what did I do about it?

Like I said TURNED MY LIFE AROUND!

Started getting good grades, High honors, scholarships. certificates, awards, getting involved in my community, taking control of my life and the opportunities that were in front of me!

I've worked hard for EVERYTHING that I have. Noone has put a dime in my pocket, or put 2 hands on my shoulders and pushed me to get where I am today (A soon to be College Graduate with many honors under her belt) I have fought touth and nail to be in the position that I am in now and will stop at nothing or let anyone stop me! I have high standards and DO NOT settle for less. I won't let just any man up in my face, I won't hang with certain people, I won't do certain things. I'm not saying I'm a square. But there are just somethings that I won't associate myself with!

Based on the fact that I know struggle and want better for myself that makes me "Bougie"? I've never once in my life looked down on someone because I've had people look down on me, I don't turn my nose up at people, however I do have a lot to say about what's going on in my community: Ex/teenage pregnancy,drugs, drop outs, child abuse, lazy ass people that sit on their ass and do nothing, "thugs" that think bcuz of what they been through gives them a reason to kill, etc. Now if that makes me "Bougie" or "stuck up" then so be it!

As far as the dictionary definition of Bougie "snobby" "middle/upper class" ya damn right! I'm striving and will break my back to be in the middle/upper class bracket. The label means nothing to me but the figures do! Who wouldn't want to be considered upper class? Am I wrong for that? Or should I continue to stay in the projects and be below the poverty line? I'm "bougie" because I want to make more? Give my family more? Have my children not go through the struggles that I've went through? I'm "Bougie" because I have educated myself beyond the means of a textbook, I'm community minded and like to have intelligent conversation.

I'm "Bougie" because I'm proud of my accomplishment and how I had excelled against the odds! Well in that cause I'll be "Bougie" and damn proud of it!

2 comments:

  1. you go girl. excellently articulated. never knew your struggle & I commend to the uptenth power for your many accomplishments. you & I have such a similar thought process it's unreal. we must kit!

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  2. Thank you Lady! I try. & yes we do! Ofcourse I'll KIT =)

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